Friday, 24 June 2016

The Meaning Of Life (Christian Style)


Christians often presume to tell us that they understand the reason for our existence. We are here (they say) to worship god and to glorify his name:

The chief purpose of life is not happiness, but the knowledge of God.
(William Lane Craig)
Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.
Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
(from the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:16)
Our purpose is to praise God, worship him, to proclaim his greatness, and to accomplish his will. This is what glorifies him.

There is no calling greater than praising God ... the greatest thing we can do (our purpose, you might say) is to glory him.

But do you know what happens if you fail to glorify god? 
If ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name ... Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces. 
(Malachi 2:2-3 KJV)
Christians never mention that particular text. I wonder why?


Seriously though, why don't the Christians mention that if someone fails to glorify god then god will personally come down to earth and rub shit on their face?

Maybe they find it too embarrassing to mention - but no. They quite happily say that non-believers will be tortured for eternity in the fires of hell and there is no hint of embarrassment when they deliver that vile message.

The fact is, Christians don't mention Malachi 2:3 because they have never read the bible and they have no idea that such a text exists. They cannot have read it because it is such a spectacularly memorable text that they would never forget it if they had read it: Disobey god and he will rub shit on your face! Spectacularly memorable. Once heard never forgotten.

So if you ever hear a Christian talk about glorifying god and he fails to mention that verse about god rubbing shit on your face, then you know that he hasn't read the bible.

When you tell Christians about Malachi 2:3 they immediately declare that you have taken the words out of context. That's an automatic response that Christians apply to any and all controversial bible texts. It gives them thinking time; a chance to conjure up a more 'believable' explanation later. However, if they do say the story has been taken out of context, simply ask them to explain the true context. It doesn't matter how convoluted their explanation may be, when it comes down to the bottom line, god rubs shit on the faces of those who do not glorify him!

During their search for context the Christians will eventually get back to Malachi 2:1 and discover that God is speaking directly to his priests and not to the general population. "Ah ha," says the Christian, "You are wrong to say that god will rub shit on the faces of everyone who fails to glorify him. That punishment probably applies only to priests, not to ordinary people." Or they will say the text is not meant to be taken literally and the punishment is merely symbolic - although they usually can't say exactly what is being symbolised when god rubs shit on your face!


But here's the thing: I'm not looking for explanations. I am not complaining about what the text is saying. I am not offended by it and neither does it disgust me. I actually find it rather amusing. No, my complaint is about Christians who have never read the bible yet still have the audacity to preach their religion to unbelievers.

In all of the quotations at the top of this post, the Christians have told only half the story. "Glorify god," they say, but not one word of warning about the punishment that will be inflicted if glorification is not forthcoming. And, as we have already established, it is not embarrassment that prevents the Christians from mentioning this particular punishment; it is their ignorance. Malachi 2:3 is one of the most memorable verses in the whole bible but the vast majority of true believers have never heard of it: Never read it for themselves; never had it taught to them in Sunday school; never had it mentioned at the church youth club; never discussed it during bible studies, and almost certainly never heard it preached from the pulpit during a sermon.

The preacher tells them they are required to give glory to god and that's as far as the congregation is prepared to go. You'd think they would at least have the gumption to haul out a Concordance and look up the word "glory", just to see what else the bible has to say on the subject, but they are totally lacking in curiosity and it never occurs to them that maybe there are things they have yet to learn about their religion. All they've got is half the story from some conniving preacher - and now they think they have the right to go out and convert others.



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