A Devout Christian Writes To His Pastor

On November 9th, 1971, a devout Christian named John List walked into the kitchen and shot his wife in the head. Then he went upstairs and blasted his mother to death. When his three children came home after school he shot them to death as well, pumping ten bullets into his oldest son (must have really hated him).

Then he sat down and wrote a letter of explanation to his pastor: The wife and kids weren't interested in going to church anymore so fuck'em; I killed 'em.

Dear Pastor Rehwinkel,

I am sorry to add this additional burden to your work. I know that what has been done is wrong from all that I have been taught and that any reasons that I might give will not make it right. But you are the one person that I know that while not condoning this will at least possibly understand why I felt that I had to do this.

1: I wasn't earning anywhere near enough to support us. Everything I tried seemed to fall to pieces. True, we could have gone bankrupt and maybe gone on welfare. 

2: But that brings me to my next point. Knowing the type of location that one would have to live in, plus the environment for the children, plus the effect on them knowing they were on welfare was just more than I thought they could and should endure. I know they were willing to cut back, but this involved a lot more than that. 

3: With Pat being so determined to get into acting I was also fearful as to what that might do to her continuing to be Christian. I'm sure it wouldn't have helped.

4: Also, with Helen not going to church I knew that this would harm the children eventually in their attendance. I had continued to hope that she would begin to come to church soon. But when I mentioned to her that Mr. Jutze wanted to pay her an elder's call, she just blew up and said she wanted her name taken off the church rolls. Again this could only have an adverse result for the children's continued attendance.

So that is the sum of it. If any one of these had been the condition, we might have pulled through but this was just too much. At least I'm certain that all have gone to heaven now. If things had gone on who knows if this would be the case.

Of course, Mother got involved because doing what I did to my family would have been a tremendous shock to her at this age. Therefore, knowing that she is also a Christian I felt it best that she be relieved of the troubles of this world that would have hit her.

After it was all over I said some prayers for them all - from the hymn book. That was the least that I could do. Now for the final arrangements: Helen and the children have all agreed that they would prefer to be cremated. Please see to it that the costs are kept low.

For Mother, she has a plot at the Frankenmuth Church cemetery. Please contact Mr. Herman Schellkas, Route 4, Vassar, Mich. 41768.

He's married to a niece of Mother's and knows what arrangements are to be made. (She always wanted Rev. Herman Zehnder of Bay City to preach the sermon. But he's not well.) Also I'm leaving some letters in your care. Please send them on and add whatever comments you think appropriate. The relationships are as follows: Mrs. Lydia Meyer - Mother's sister. Mrs. Eva Meyer - Helen's mother. Jean Syfert - Helen's sister.

Also I don't know what will happen to the books and personal things. But to the extent possible I'd like for them to be distributed as you see fit. Some books might go to the school or church library.

Originally I had planned this for Nov. 1 - All Saints' Day. But travel arrangements were delayed. I thought it would be an appropriate day for them to get to heaven.

As for me please let me be dropped from the congregation rolls. I leave myself in the hand of God's Justice and Mercy. I don't doubt that He is able to help us, but apparently He saw fit not to answer my prayers the way that I hoped they would be answered. This makes me think that perhaps it was for the best as far as the children's souls are concerned. I know that many will only look at the additional years that they could have lived, but if finally they were no longer Christians what would be gained.

Also I'm sure many will say, ''How could anyone do such a horrible thing?'' - My only answer is it isn't easy and was only done after much thought.

Pastor, Mrs. Morris may possibly be reached at 802 Pleasant Hill Drive. Elkin - home of her sister. One other thing. It may seem cowardly to have always shot from behind, but I didn't want any of them to know even at the last second that I had to do this to them.

John got hurt more because he seemed to struggle longer. The rest were immediately out of pain. John didn't consciously feel anything either.

Please remember me in your prayers. I will need them whether or not the government does its duty as it sees it. I'm only concerned with making my peace with God and of this I am assured because of Christ dying even for me.

P.S. Mother is in the hallway in the attic - 3d floor. She was too heavy to move.

John

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