Reality TV

Have you ever seen one of those reality TV shows where the owners of a house are sent away for a holiday while a renovation team move in to give the house a makeover?

Have you ever seen the moment when the owner returns home? The TV crew are already inside the house with the camera trained on the front door, waiting until the big moment arrives. Then, at last, the door cracks open and there is the homeowner on the doorstep; eyes wide open in stunned surprise and a huge smile spreading across their face as they say, "Oh......My......God!"

Have you ever wondered what the hell they are gasping about? They're still on the doorstep. The door isn't even properly open. They haven't seen anything yet!

Surely they're not following a director's instructions are they? It's all spontaneous and unrehearsed isn't it? It's not all a fraud is it?

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I've never watched a TV reality show, but I have seen the trailers for heaps of them over the last ten or twenty years: home makeovers, cooking shows, getting-a-new-job programs, talent contests, getting-dropped-on-a-desert-island shows, and all sorts of other stuff that I can't bring to mind just at the moment.

Tell me something. Why do the contestants always cry? I don't think there has ever been a reality TV trailer I have ever seen where at least one person doesn't cry.

Where do all these lachrymose contestants come from? Surely they're not following a director's instructions are they? It's all spontaneous and unrehearsed isn't it? It's not all a fraud is it?

Have they ever had a cooking contestant crying over spilt milk? I've seen them crying over burnt toast.