Saturday, 18 October 2014

God Lets You Decide

Dan Delzell has a beautiful story about the god of love:
What I am about to share with you could literally lead to the salvation of your soul. And that in turn could lead to others in your family being saved after you tell them about the three chairs. It's an incredibly simple concept. The good news of the Gospel is easy enough for a child to grasp.

So here goes. Take a deep breath. And picture yourself at the gate of heaven.

Now imagine an angel of the Lord telling you: "Before you find out whether or not you are going to enter heaven, or instead, be sent to hell, I want you to sit down in one of these three chairs. But choose wisely. Once you sit down, two of the chairs will drop into hell, and only one of the chairs will remain. If you sit in the chair that remains, you will be welcomed into heaven."
http://www.christianpost.com/

At first I thought it was just another 21st century evangelist engaging in hyperbole, but then I had a quick browse through my bible and discovered that god is really into that sort of thing: 

God is testing you to find out whether you love him
(Deuteronomy 13:3)

I can't work out whether Christianity is a religion for masochists or sadists - it certainly ain't for normal people.



Thursday, 9 October 2014

Brave Little Soldiers In The Army Of The Lord

On October 7th, 2014, Jerry DeWitt posted this photocopy of a threatening letter sent to an atheist a few days earlier:



You can be sure it was written by a Christian because it has words randomly capitalized, poor grammar, poor spelling, and a complete lack of Christian love and tolerance.

Strange that the omnipotent lord of the universe can be driven out of a city by a single atheist - and then this all-powerful deity has to call on his followers for assistance. And not just any followers, but some of the really dumb ones!




Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Ratbag!

My next door neighbour drinks a bit - and then she has panic attacks. She calls the ambulance and tells them she can't breathe. Well the other day she apparently did it again...

The police turned up at our block of flats and started banging on my neighbour's door but there was no answer. Then a policeman started kicking the door and finally it burst open. He rushed inside (probably expecting to find a dead body) and instead found the woman sitting at her kitchen table drinking whatever slop she usually drinks.

"Why didn't you answer the door?" asked the surprised policeman.

"I wanted a fucken ambulance not a fucken copper," she yelled back.



Tuesday, 7 October 2014

A Sad Story

Brenda Leyland was a 63 years old retiree who lived alone with her pet dogs. She seemed to be just another nice old lady enjoying her retirement, but she had a secret. She had a Twitter account and she used it to publish hurtful messages about the parents of Maddie McCann; a child who had been kidnapped in 2007.

Brenda Leyland wasn't particularly vicious, but she was certainly persistent. Nearly 5,000 tweets over the last few years and almost all of them about the McCann family; accusing them of making money from their daughter's disappearance and stating that they deserved to spend the rest of their lives in misery.
Update March 2015
The inquest heard between November 2013 and September 2014, using the Twitter ID @sweepyface, she had tweeted or retweeted 2,210 posts, of which 424 mentioned the McCanns. Her tweets did not constitute a criminal offence, the inquest heard.
On Wednesday October 1st, 2014, Sky News discovered her identity and sent a reporter to interview her. He remained out of sight until she emerged from her house and then he pounced. He asked if she had anything to say about her campaign against the McCann family, but she refused to make any comments. Then he told her that she had been reported to the police and would soon be questioned about her abusive tweets. Ms Leyland remained outwardly composed, but her blink-rate increased alarmingly and it was obvious that she was getting very nervous as she stopped the interview and got into her car.

On Thursday October 2nd, Ms Leyland called the reporter back to her home where she tried to explain herself, but it was too late; the damage had been done; the video had been broadcast; she had been recognised, and now the whole world was talking about her.

On Friday October 3rd, more reporters descended upon her home and, in an attempt to avoid any further embarrassment, she fled from her house and booked into a nearby hotel.

A lot of people in her position may have tried to brazen their way through the ordeal, but Ms Leyland was unable to do so. She felt completely humiliated and (I'm guessing) simply could not bear the thought of facing her friends and neighbours. In the space of a few days she had gone from being a well-respected member of the community to a hate-mongering old woman who took her pleasure from the pain of others. It was more than she could handle and the next day she committed suicide.

The sad thing is that she may have never been charged with any crime because she never threatened any violence against the McCanns and had never made direct contact with them. Even if she had been charged (and found guilty) she would have probably received only a fine and a few hours community service.

Certainly she would have found it difficult living in a town where everybody knew about her secret life on the Internet, but if she had spent a few more days in the hotel she might have had enough time to calm down and think clearly. Perhaps she could have made arrangements to move into another area until the publicity died down.

But she was a proud woman. She apparently enjoyed her role as a pillar of the community and found it impossible to face the accusing glances of her old friends who now knew the truth about her. Perhaps she could have avoided those accusing glances by going to live with her son in America, far away from the scene of her alleged crime, but her pride got in the way. She knew what she had done, and she knew that her friends knew what she had done. Distance wouldn't be enough to erase her shame...

And now she's dead.

And that's a shame.





I feel sad because I have a feeling that if the police had told her they were investigating her activities (without having her identity become known to the public) she would have been so frightened that she would have immediately deleted her Twitter account and never again used the Internet to attack the McCann family. She would have gone back to being just another old-age pensioner. She could have lived another 20 or 30 years in happy retirement; sitting back; taking it easy, and watching her grandchildren grow up. Instead she is dead, and none of those things will happen. It's such a shame.

I wonder who is looking after her pets.



Monday, 6 October 2014

Telling Lies For Jesus

Back in 2007, before he became President of the USA, the Chicago Tribune wrote about Barack Obama's childhood in Indonesia:

When Barack Obama was a boy here, he studied for three years at a religious school and prayed four times a day.

It was a Roman Catholic school. There, Obama was registered as student No. 203. "Yes, he prayed, because all the students here had to pray in the Catholic way--`in the name of the Father, [Son] and the Holy Spirit,' " recalled Obama's 1st-grade teacher, Israella Pareira Darmawan.


But that truth doesn't fit in with the story American Christians are currently trying to tell. They are trying to convince their idiot followers that Obama is a Muslim who is trying to destroy their Christian way of life - and so they simply change the Catholic school into a Muslim school.



It's OK for Christians to be lying arseholes as long as they are doing it for Jesus.


Sunday, 5 October 2014

Sputnik

On the 4th of October 1957, Russia launched Sputnik; the first artificial moon to orbit the earth.

Jerry Engler was one of the first rockabilly singers to cash-in on the big event:




There were others:

Shake It Over Sputnik - Billy Hogan
Sputniks and Mutniks - Ray Anderson
Sputnik Dance - The Equadors
Satellite Fever - Lonnie Miley
Rock Old Sputnik - Nelson Young
The Sputnik Story - Bill Thomas
Satellite - Teresa Brewer

These had the same titles but they were all completely different songs:
Satellite Baby - Roosevelt Sykes
Satellite Baby - Skip Stanley
Satellite Rock - Joe Tate
Satellite Rock - The Rebelaires


You can find most of these songs on You Tube.



Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Stop Trying - A Preacher's Advice

Nothing changes. More than sixty years ago - way back in 1953 - a singer named Billy Hughes recorded a song called Atomic Sermon. He was worried that if we continued our sinful ways there was a chance that god would use the atomic bomb to blow us all up - but his song contained a solution to the problem: 

You better stop them scientists from re-searchin’
‘Cause they done gone too far
http://www.atomicplatters.com/more.php?id=113_0_1_0_M 

Which sounds very much like a 21st century tweet from Joyce Meyer:


 


Yeah, let's not have doctors trying to figure out how to cure diseases, let's just have them believe in the power of prayer.