Play Them At Their Own Game

Where I live there is not much nightlife but if you do happen to be out late at night you can always get a snack at the pie cart. As you can see in the picture, the pie cart is a converted caravan that has been fitted out to serve hot pies and cold drinks. It is usually towed into position at about 10pm, just as the regular restaurants are closing, and it stays there until about 4am.

The streets are usually deserted during those hours and very often the only people to be seen are the few poor souls standing around the pie cart.

Well I turned up one night and was immediately surrounded by three tough looking guys who tried to bluff me with a proposition bet. One of them waved a ten dollar note in front of my face and suggested we should bet $10 on the toss of a coin. Heads I win $10 from them. Tails they win $10 from me.

I quickly figured out what their routine would be. If I refused to accept the bet they would move in closer and try to intimidate me to the point where I became so frightened that I would accept the bet just so they would leave me alone.

And when I did accept the bet, even if the coin landed Heads up (which meant I had won ten dollars from them) all three guys would declare that it had landed Tails up so I had to pay them ten dollars. Three against one! I'd be forced to accept their decision (or maybe risk getting bashed).

So I decided to pull a bluff of my own. I guessed they didn't have much cash between them and would not be able to match anything above the ten dollars they had already suggested so I told them, "I'm not fucking around with miserable $10 bets. I'll bet you a hundred dollars instead. Let's see your money."

I was right. They couldn't cover the bet and they backed down immediately.

[I didn't have $100 either, but these small time grifters thought they were doing all the bluffing and it never occurred to them that one of their marks could get the better of them.]

They're Gonna Blow Up The Moon

October 1957 and the Russians had launched Sputnik into orbit around the Earth. It didn't do much; just went "beep beep beep" but we were fascinated all the same. Each night we went outside and looked up into the sky - and there it was! A tiny speck of light actually moving across the sky. I could hardly believe I was lucky enough to be alive during such an exciting period of Earth's history.

One night our neighbours came into our yard to watch the satellite with us. As usual we stood there marvelling at the scientific wonder of it all until the woman from next door spoke:

"Oooh, I don't like what they're doing these days."

"What do you mean?"

"Well this sputnik thing," she said. "If they keep going like this it might blow up. It might knock a piece off the moon and then where would we be?"

That was the day I realised that adults were fucking stupid and sometimes us kids were smarter than they would ever be. 

-----

This is my favourite rockabilly song from that period - Sputnik (Satellite Girl) by Jerry Engler:

Original video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owaJjwHGMOk

And that wasn't the only one. Back in those days the hit parades were full of songs about satellites and sputniks:



Rock Old Sputnik - Nelson Young

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZb1boVtKXc

Satellite Baby - Skip Stanley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd7UmBdSTHU

Beep Beep Beep - Bobby Day & The Satellites
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEtzHdZs74M

My Satellite - Jesse Belvin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28skmNYKslk

Rockin' Satellite - The Three Honeydrops
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpzDbTkLx5I

Sputnik Rock - Ralf Bendix (German)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXIzbLN6khM

Part way through the previous song, Ralf Bendix sings the words, "Cindy Oh Cindy" which refers to a song of that name recorded by Eddie Fisher in 1956
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jZVpTtYyPs 

There Goes Sputnik - The Teen-Clefs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pSLM_afETc

The Sputnik Story - Bill Thomas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR2c24mxKsA

Sputnik Rock and Roll - Rock Krister and his Kristals (Swedish)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K7IGblkglI

Sputnik Dance - The Equadors
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_fARQcrL6c

Shake It Over Sputnik - Billy Hogan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P_qQM1Fdnw

Sputnik - Los Loud Jets (Mexican version of the Jerry Engler song)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx7wstnjS_U

Sputnik And Mutniks - Ray Anderson & The Home Folks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tTXu6hkCm0

Gonna Ride That Satelite - Jimmy Gartin & The Highlanders
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LqyR5i-jsY

Beep Beep - Louis Prima
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IAZsprQzoI

Satellite Fever & Asiatic Flu - Lonnie Miley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhUKnmve0pE

Satellite Rock - Jimmy Copeland & The J-Teens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhi7qmfW3Wg

Satellite Rock - The Rebelaires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UikCoxo6Mc

Satellite Love - Lil Randolph (aka Madame Queen)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klBWOw3jIcU

Gonna Git Me a Satellite - Little Ernest Tucker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9_IbEp_TDQ

Satellite - Teresa Brewer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hi8wPYJjCI

Satellite Rock - Joe Tate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch3wW9kTUUA

Satellite Baby - Roosevelt Sykes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdfiB3y6bTA

Rockin' Satellite - Ray Sawyer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgGH0NyDJCw

Science News (21st Century Style)

click to enlarge

The Ratbaggery Of Religion

Have a look at these masochistic clowns:

Pakistani Shiite Muslims flagellate themselves with knives attached to chains ahead of Ashoura day, in Peshawar, Pakistan, Friday, Oct. 23, 2015. Ashoura is a Shiite Muslim commemoration marking the death of Hussein, the Prophet Muhammad's grandson
http://www.usnews.com/news/world/

But the Sunni Muslims hate the Shiite Muslims and both sides love killing each other. Here's what happened the day after the photograph was taken:

A suicide bomber has killed at least 22 people taking part in a procession by Shia Muslims in southern Pakistan.

At least five children are among the dead. Dozens of people were wounded in the attack in the city of Jacobabad.

It was the second attack in as many days targeting celebrations of the Shia holiday of Ashura in Pakistan.

On Thursday a suicide bomber killed 10 people at a mosque in Balochistan province. A radical Sunni group had threatened violence during the holiday.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-34622989

Now that's what I call the ratbaggery of religion. Is there any religious fanatic out there who would like the defend the actions of either the masochistic Shiites or the sadistic Sunnis? I'd like to see you try.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Authorities in the Aceh province of Indonesia began tearing down a number of Christian churches on Monday at the demand of hardline Muslims, as religious tensions have risen in the province in recent weeks.

According to Reuters, government workers in the Aceh Singkil district used axes and sledgehammers to dismantle several small Christian churches after many hardline Muslims in the area demanded that at least 10 Christian churches be demolished.

BBC reports that over 200 police officers and military personnel protected government workers as they destroyed the church buildings on the grounds that the structures lacked the proper building permits.
http://www.christianpost.com/news/

The Christians got their start in the very same way:

When they gained political power in the 4th century AD they immediately set about destroying the pagan religions; burned their libraries; demolished their temples; exiled the followers of pagan gods; murdered those who spoke in favour of paganism, and denied employment to anyone who did not accept Jesus as their saviour. The terror campaign went on for hundreds of years and ended in complete success for the Christians. They were cheering then. Now, in Aceh, they are crying.

What goes around comes around.

Oops!

A Deutsche Bank junior employee accidentally sent a hedge fund client $6 billion while their boss was on holiday.
 
A payment mistake by a junior banker has nearly cost Deutsche Bank billions at a time when it is already under intense scrutiny from regulators.
 
The junior staff member was working unsupervised for the foreign exchange sales team when they accidently sent $6 billion to a US-based hedge fund client. The employee mistakenly processed the order as a “gross figure” instead of as a “net value” while their boss was on holiday this summer, according to the Financial Times.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/

When I was working as a factory hand I couldn't get $5 out of the petty cash tin unless the leading hand approved it. Any more than $5 and I had to ask the foreman.

The Silent Majority - Forever Silent

David Cameron has said it is time for the Muslim “silent majority” to stand up and tackle Islamist extremism in their communities.

The Prime Minister said those who have so far failed to confront the fanatics’ ideology can “make all the difference” and must speak up.

He said they were central to challenging their warped views and can show young people how to be proud to be both Muslim and British. 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/11939380/

The silent majority will do nothing. Most fear retaliation if they speak out, and many are hoping the extremists win; they think it would be nice to have Muslims running the country. Of course they will change their minds when Sharia law is introduced - but then it will be too late.

Christians are the same. The ratbag evangelicals want to introduce biblical law (death for blasphemy, adultery, working on the sabbath, etcetera) but the silent majority refuse to speak against them because they are hoping that maybe the ratbags will win; they think it would be nice to have devout Christians running the country.

Of course they are assuming that when the revolution comes they will be able to keep the ratbags under control but history shows that would be unlikely. Once the fanatics get into power they will fight viscously to retain that power and the silent majority will wilt under the pressure.

It's happened before you know: When the fanatics gained power in Europe during the early 13th century they immediately called for an Inquisition to quash all dissent - and it took another 600 years before the Inquisitors finally lost their power.

Poison The Gays

Jesus said,

Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)

But pastor James Manning preaching at the ATLAH World Missionary Church in New York seems to be unaware of that gospel text. He is calling on Christians to attack homosexuals; to spit in their food; to poison their food, and to strangle them.

Original video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1WYO_JZM

Other Christians may try to defend the pastor with the claim that he is engaging in hyperbole and merely expressing an idea without expecting anyone to act upon his instructions. That defence doesn't work for Christians though - because Jesus made it clear that just thinking about harming other people is as bad as the crime itself:

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. (Matthew 5:22)

Glenn Beck Predicts

Glenn Beck is a Mormon soothsayer who pretends to be a regular Christian in order to rope in more suckers. He boasts that he has never been wrong about anything and that all of his predictions come true. 

He made this video in October 2013:

Original video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg6q36ZT8tY

It is now October 2015

The two years are up

Not one of the predictions were fulfilled

Not one of the skeptics were surprised. 

Jesus Loves The Little Children

A naked woman screaming “We’re all going to die!” held her 6-month-old baby girl out a Bronx sixth-floor window on Thursday, then released her — letting the child plunge to her death onto the concrete below, police said.

Screaming “Praise the Lord” and “Hallelujah,” a naked Tenisha Fearon, 27, dangled Junilah Lawrence out her top-floor window on Tiebout Ave. near E. 182nd St. in Fordham before dropping the girl about 1:30 p.m., panicked 911 callers told police.

As police were taking her away, the mom said “the devil is in her.”

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/

News Reporting In Australia Just Got Worse

This story in the Melbourne Herald-Sun refers to an incident that happened in America:

Bizarre ... Jennifer Connell is suing her 12-year-old nephew for accidentally breaking her wrist.

AN aunt is suing her 12-year-old nephew who accidentally broke her wrist while greeting her — because she now struggles to hold a plate of canapés.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/

These are some of the comments from Australian readers:

• This is not just a US thing, it happens here in Australia and has done for years.
• American legal system was always stupid, but this one takes the cake. Only in America!
• How ridiculous.  Why is everything about money? How could an 8 year old know that what he did would be unsafe. The majority of people are to quick to sue these days.  The woman should just accept that it was an accident, stop complaining and get on with life.

Obviously the reporter and the commentors have no idea how the insurance business operates. How else can anyone get compensation unless they sue the person who caused the injury. You can't sue the lady down the street - she had nothing to do with the accident. You have to sue the person who caused the injury. That person then hands over the details to their insurance company and the case goes to court. There is no other reasonable way to do it.

If I accidentally broke my aunt's wrist the first thing I would say to her is, "Don't you pay a cent for doctor's fees. I'm fully insured so go ahead and sue me for as much as you need. My insurance company will pay whatever the court decides. That's why I always pay my premiums; to cover situations exactly like this."

I Worked It Out All On My Own

When I was about five years old mum weighed my brother and me on the Jockey Scales in the local chemist shop (this was back in the 1950s). Mum told us our weights and then explained that my little brother was four pounds lighter than me.

I was keen to let mum know I had grasped the point she was making and understood it completely: "So that means I'm four pounds darker than he is."

Cleverest Christian Ever

Ignorance Is Bliss

Human life and a complex universe are powerful indicators of creation, Americans say. In a survey of 1,000 Americans, LifeWay Research found almost 8 in 10 (79 percent) believe the existence of human life means someone created it, while 72 percent think the organization of the universe shows a creator’s design.

http://www.lifewayresearch.com/2015/10/07/

Might be time to upgrade the US education system.

British Upperclass Twits Have Their Own Language

How do you pronounce these names?

Cholomondeley
Marjoribanks
Menzies
St John

Answers:

Chumley
Marchbanks
Ming-hes
Sinjin