Moon Rocks

On this day (July 26th) in 1969, scientists had their first look at the 46 pounds of rocks that Apollo 11 astronauts brought back from the moon. The rock box was opened in the Vacuum Laboratory of the Manned Spacecraft Center's Lunar Receiving Laboratory, bldg 37, at 3:55 p.m., July 26, 1969.

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About ten years later I was at a party in Adelaide, South Australia, when the hostess announced that one of her elderly relatives had something exciting to show us. "Lionel, go and get your moon rocks," she said to him. Off he went to his bedroom and came back with half a dozen cut and polished geodes that looked something like this:

Lionel's rocks weren't quite this pretty but still nice to look at.

"Where did they come from?" we asked.

"From the moon," he replied. "They're moon rocks!"

I could hardly believe the silly old bugger was seriously trying to push this line of bullshit. Moon rocks were some of the most valuable and closely guarded objects in the world and there is no way an ordinary citizen could ever have such things in his possession. I looked at the other party guests, expecting them to be treating his announcement with the derision it deserved, but they seemed enthralled by his story, and delighted that they were able to view such extraordinary artifacts up close and personal.

"How did you get to own moon rocks?" I asked.

Lionel explained that he was working at the Woomera rocket range in South Australia at a time when the various moon landings were taking place. The Americans had a tracking station there, and they would invite the locals into the visitors area where they could watch and listen to proceedings as the astronauts explored the moon. During one of the moon walks the mission controller in America directed an astronaut towards a nearby cluster of rocks and wondered if they might be of interest. The astronaut jokingly replied, "Hang on, I'll kick a few down to you."

And down here on earth, our Lionel said to one of the American security guards, "I wonder where they landed?"

The guard obviously decided to have a bit of fun at Lionel's expense and said he would nip outside and see if he could find them. A few minutes later he returned with a handful of rocks which he presented to Lionel as gifts from the US Government. Lionel was absolutely delighted and took the samples to one of the local workshops where they cut the rocks in half and polished the flat surfaces to a high sheen - and these were the things that he was now showing the party guests in Adelaide.

I looked again at his wide-eyed audience and said to them, "Do you hear what he's saying? He's saying an astronaut kicked these rocks from the moon and a few seconds later they fell to earth and landed just outside his door in Woomera, South Australia !"

Yes, they heard it alright - and they believed it! All of them did! I was the only person in the room who knew that Lionel's story was complete and utter bullshit (or, at least, I was the only one prepared to say that it was). I made several more attempts to explain the impossibility of his ratbag story, but the other guests started turning against me, declaring that I was a hard, cruel, bastard trying to destroy an old man's dream. The hostess demanded that I leave the premises and never return!