Monday, 25 December 2017

Christmas Conversation Starter

Here's a common depiction of the first Christmas - three wise men riding camels and visiting Jesus who was born in a stable:



That's the story Christians like to tell but it's not the story we read in the bible. The gospel of Matthew, for example, refers only to "wise men"; not three of them and not riding on camels either. There may have been dozens of wise men and they might have been riding in coaches pulled by horses for all we know (or they may have been travelling on foot).

Also you can search through the New Testament as carefully as you like, but you will find no mention of Jesus being born in a stable. In fact Matthew is most emphatic when he tells us that the wise men arrived in Bethlehem and, "On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage." (Matthew 2:11)

What happened next? Did Mary and Joseph wait eight days in Bethlehem before going to the Temple in Jerusalem and then heading straight back to Nazareth? (Luke 2:21-39)

Or did the family immediately leave Bethlehem and travel down to Egypt where they stayed until Herod was dead? (Matthew 2:13-15)


When was Jesus born? In about 6 BCE while Herod was alive? (Matthew 2:1)

Or ten years later in 6 CE when Quirinius was governor of Syria? (Luke 2:2)

Maybe it was somewhere in between those two dates because Luke also tells us (in Luke 3:1-23) that John started baptising in 29AD, “in the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar,” when Jesus was “about thirty” – which means that Jesus was born in about 1BCE.

Or maybe it was none of those dates because, in John 8:57, during his early ministry, “The Jews said unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old.” It’s a fairly vague statement, but surely they’ve got to be talking about someone over forty (and probably closer to forty-five), in which case Jesus could have been born as early as 15BCE.


A little Socratic Questioning during this year's Christmas dinner and you can turn it into a really memorable event.


Sunday, 24 December 2017

A Christmas Story

I used to work at a recycling plant and the Christmas cards started arriving during the last week of November each year. Not just one or two every now and then, but hundreds of them every day!

Dear old auntie Doris would go to all the trouble of sending her best Christmas wishes to other members of her family - and they would chuck the card in the bin the same day it was delivered!



Thursday, 14 December 2017

There Are No Atheists In Foxholes

I have heard it many times when discussing the existence of god with a Christian. There always comes a time when they realise that they have been cornered and their defence of god is doomed to fail - and that's when they resort to the "There are no atheists in foxholes" argument.

In effect the Christian is saying to the atheist, "You might be feeling 'oh-so-clever' right now, but when the chips are down and your life is on the line, you will go running to god like a frightened child running to his mother."

But let's take a closer look at that foxhole situation...

The atheist is in the foxhole because he knows there is no god to protect him from all the bullets whizzing overhead. Sheltering in the foxhole gives him the best chance of survival.

But what is the Christian doing? Is he up on the rampart, fully exposed and relying on his god to protect him as he advances towards the enemy? No he is not! He is down in the foxhole with the atheist.

And he is in the foxhole because he knows there is no god protecting him from the enemy bullets. God cannot save him - but the foxhole will.

So basically, everyone in the foxhole is an atheist.





Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Christians Can Be Awful Sometimes

80% of white born-again Christians supported Roy Moore, according to the Washington Post.

click to enlarge


To put that another way, a majority of white evangelicals are upset that a child molester won’t represent their Christian values in the Senate.




Saturday, 11 November 2017

Nov 11, 1215, Fourth Lateran Council Begins

During my tours around the Internet I discovered that the 4th Lateran Council began on this day (November 11) in 1215 CE, so I popped across to this Catholic website to get some more details. It was worth it too. I was pissing myself laughing after reading just the first line of Canon #1: 
We firmly believe and simply confess that there is only one true God, eternal and immeasurable, almighty, unchangeable, incomprehensible and ineffable
They comprehend the incomprehensible and they use words to describe the ineffable. That's comedy gold that is...



Also in Canon #1 it was officially declared that the bread and wine served during holy communion did, indeed, miraculously turn into the literal flesh and blood of Jesus Christ. (I think the blood would be a bit too salty for my tastes but the Catholics seem to like it.)



In Canon #2 they declared Joachim's Three Ages theory to be a heresy and it's pretty obvious why they did so: According to Joachim the history of the world was divided into three 'ages' and the third age was going to begin in 1260 CE but - and this was the heretical bit - during this third age mankind would come in direct contact with god, thus making the Pope, his bishops, and the very church itself, totally redundant. (Now that's what I call a heresy.)



In Canon #3 they poured scorn on the idea of people being presumed innocent until found guilty. It was decided that all suspected heretics were to be considered guilty until they could prove their innocence: 
Those who are only found suspect of heresy are to be struck with the sword of anathema, unless they prove their innocence by an appropriate purgation
It is worth mentioning that this 4th Lateran Council with its arse-about-face ideas regarding innocence was initiated by Pope Innocent III. These Catholics have a really vicious sense of humour don't they?



Down at the other end of the document, however, things start to turn nasty and we find a few special rules for the Jews and the Muslims. In Canon #68 it is pointed out that Jews and Muslims have been dressing up as ordinary people and confusing the Christian hoi-poloi to the point where they were actually treating each other as equals: 
A difference of dress distinguishes Jews or Saracens from Christians in some provinces, but in others a certain confusion has developed so that they are indistinguishable. Whence it sometimes happens that by mistake Christians join with Jewish or Saracen women, and Jews or Saracens with christian women.

But never fear; the dear, sweet Christians, came up with a solution: 
In order that the offence of such a damnable mixing may not spread further, under the excuse of a mistake of this kind, we decree that such persons of either sex, in every christian province and at all times, are to be distinguished in public from other people by the character of their dress

And then, just for good measure the Jews and Muslims were ordered to stay indoors during Easter: 
They shall not appear in public at all on the days of lamentation and on passion Sunday


Dear old Pope Innocent III must have really had it in for the Jews at that time because, in Canon #69, he refers to them as the "blasphemers of Christ" and he orders that they must not be allowed to hold any public office at any time:
It would be too absurd for a blasphemer of Christ to exercise power over Christians. We therefore renew in this canon, on account of the boldness of the offenders, what the council of Toledo providently decreed in this matter : we forbid Jews to be appointed to public offices


I wonder how many Catholic bloggers will mention the 4th Lateran Council today?

I wonder how many will get past Canon #1?

I wonder how many will get all the way down to Canon #68 and Canon #69?




Tuesday, 7 November 2017

First Baptist Church Massacre

Sunday November 5th, 2017
First Baptist Church
Sutherland Springs
Texas, USA

A 26-year-old gunman entered the church and killed 26 people whose ages ranged from 18 months to 77 years. Another twenty people were seriously wounded.




And then there was the callous atheist who pointed out that Christians are always praying to go to heaven when they die, and therefore: When those saints of First Baptist Church were murdered yesterday, God wasn’t ignoring their prayers. He was answering them.


Oh, wait a minute... 


It wasn't an atheist who said those horrible things; it was a dear sweet Christian! A Lutheran pastor name Hans Fiene who preaches his nonsense in the State of Illinois. Here are the low-lights as they appeared in his article on The Federalist website the day after the murders:
When those saints of First Baptist Church were murdered yesterday, God wasn’t ignoring their prayers. He was answering them. 
When a madman with a rifle sought to persecute the faithful at First Baptist Church on Sunday morning, he failed. Just like those who put Christ to death, and just like those who have brought violence to believers in every generation, this man only succeeded in being the means through which God delivered his children from this evil world into an eternity of righteousness and peace. 
Although the murderer filled their eyes with terror, God has now filled them with his glory. Although he persecuted them with violence, God seized that violence and has now used it to deliver his faithful into a kingdom of peace. Although this madman brought death to so many, God has used that death to give them the eternal life won for them in the blood of Jesus.

You can read the full article here:




He's not backing down either. People have been ridiculing his attitude and this is how he is responding on his twitter account:




Monday, 6 November 2017

Thoughts and Prayers

A few years ago this nice young American boy took his legally obtained gun collection down to the local church and killed nine people.


Everybody offered their thoughts and prayers and stuffed animals were left at the scene. What else could they do?



A few weeks ago this nice old American man took his legally obtained gun collection down to an open air concert and killed sixty people while wounding five hundred more.


Everybody offered their thoughts and prayers and stuffed animals were left at the scene. What else could they do?



Today it's the youngsters turn again - twenty-six year old Devin Kelley, took his legally obtained gun collection down to the local church and killed twenty-six people just for the fun of it.


Everybody offered their thoughts and prayers and stuffed animals were left at the scene. What else could they do?




Thoughts and prayers.
Stuffed animals on the footpath.
What more can civilized people do?


Gun control? 
Don't even think about it! 
That's blasphemy, that is.