During
my tours around the Internet I discovered that the 4th Lateran Council
began on this day (November 11) in 1215 CE, so I popped across to this Catholic website to get some more details. It was worth it too. I was pissing myself laughing after reading just the first line of Canon #1:
We firmly believe and simply confess that there is only one true God, eternal and immeasurable, almighty, unchangeable, incomprehensible and ineffable
They comprehend the incomprehensible and they use words to describe the ineffable. That's comedy gold that is...
Also in Canon #1 it was officially declared that the bread and wine
served during holy communion did, indeed, miraculously turn into the
literal flesh and blood of Jesus Christ. (I think the blood would be a
bit too salty for my tastes but the Catholics seem to like it.)
In Canon #2 they declared Joachim's Three Ages theory to be a heresy
and it's pretty obvious why they did so: According to Joachim the
history of the world was divided into three 'ages' and the third age was
going to begin in 1260 CE but - and this was the heretical bit - during
this third age mankind would come in direct contact with god, thus
making the Pope, his bishops, and the very church itself, totally
redundant. (Now that's what I call a heresy.)
In Canon #3 they poured scorn on the idea of people being presumed
innocent until found guilty. It was decided that all suspected heretics
were to be considered guilty until they could prove their innocence:
Those who are only found suspect of heresy are to be struck with the sword of anathema, unless they prove their innocence by an appropriate purgation
It is worth mentioning that this 4th Lateran Council with its
arse-about-face ideas regarding innocence was initiated by Pope Innocent
III. These Catholics have a really vicious sense of humour don't they?
Down at the other end of the document, however, things start to turn
nasty and we find a few special rules for the Jews and the Muslims. In
Canon #68 it is pointed out that Jews and Muslims have been dressing up
as ordinary people and confusing the Christian hoi-poloi to the point
where they were actually treating each other as equals:
A difference of dress distinguishes Jews or Saracens from Christians in some provinces, but in others a certain confusion has developed so that they are indistinguishable. Whence it sometimes happens that by mistake Christians join with Jewish or Saracen women, and Jews or Saracens with christian women.
But never fear; the dear, sweet Christians, came up with a solution:
In order that the offence of such a damnable mixing may not spread further, under the excuse of a mistake of this kind, we decree that such persons of either sex, in every christian province and at all times, are to be distinguished in public from other people by the character of their dress
And then, just for good measure the Jews and Muslims were ordered to stay indoors during Easter:
They shall not appear in public at all on the days of lamentation and on passion Sunday
Dear old Pope Innocent III must have really had it in for the Jews at
that time because, in Canon #69, he refers to them as the "blasphemers
of Christ" and he orders that they must not be allowed to hold any
public office at any time:
It would be too absurd for a blasphemer of Christ to exercise power over Christians. We therefore renew in this canon, on account of the boldness of the offenders, what the council of Toledo providently decreed in this matter : we forbid Jews to be appointed to public offices
I wonder how many Catholic bloggers will mention the 4th Lateran Council today?
I wonder how many will get past Canon #1?
I wonder how many will get all the way down to Canon #68 and Canon #69?
